Caylee Grey
Fairy art mother

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Get Messy Art Journal ‚ô• Caylee Grey

Since I’ve been waking up¬†at 04.30 to create, I’ve been able to reach my core feelings. Without all the consumption that happens during a regular day, I’m able to produce in a very raw way.

Get Messy Art Journal ‚ô• Caylee Grey

It was my mom’s first visit back at the oncologist after¬†finishing radiation. I didn’t know how much her “everything went okay” message affected me. This was meant to be a happy, celebration page (see the little pic of my mom smiling really hard). Instead, it brought up very raw part of me (and that crazy happy pic printed out as one that looks like she is crying really hard). We know that we’re all temporary, but it’s so kak when you realise just how temporary a loved one is. When life shouts¬†the reminder that someone has the ability to die, whether it’s by that someone having cancer, or by¬†someone in hospital for a very simple procedure like kidney stones, you hear it right in your core. You’re reminded of how you’re already living with pain because of someone else’s temporary nature ending.

You write words on a page and they echo louder than their black ink allows.

Get Messy Art Journal ‚ô• Caylee Grey

But since I’m always looking for an upside, I create one for myself.

People die.

That’s the worst part about living.¬†But it’s a privilege loving someone so much that when they leave it hurts. There’s something really special about how someone can¬†affect you that much. That someone can mean that much to you. In its own way, that’s what those¬†gold paint smears are showing.¬†You could see that as the fact that they’re gone. Or you could see it in that they’re still there, highlighted. They’ll always be in your heart and you are the one in whom they live on in. When people die, they don’t leave.¬†Instead of being outside and inside you, now they’re just inside.

And so I hold onto that. And that I’m lucky enough that they allowed me to love them enough to carry a little piece of them.

Get Messy : An Art Journal Challenge | 02 // Caylee Grey

You can see my pages here or larger versions (and unpublished pages) in my Flickr gallery.

Get Messy is an art journal challenge where a gang of crafty vixens are sharing art journal pages we have created to practise our skills and push past our creative limits with hopes to inspire. We share our pages without restraint every week, and once a month we create around a prompt. Go check out these crazy talented ladies who are creating pages who each have a unique perspective and style. We will be sharing our work around social media so follow the hashtag #getmessyartjournal

Comments

  • So beautiful Caylee and all so true. A really profound way of looking at death. Big hugs xxxx

    18 Sep 2014
  • Beautiful words Caylee! Brought tears to my eyes as I’ve lost my dad a few years ago and miss him terribly. Warm tight hugs for you!
    Lovely pages as always.
    On a different note, I’ve been waking up super early too (5.30 am today!) because my hubby is waking up early for work.. and I agree, feels like creating with no filter. Everything comes out, probably cause I’m still half asleep LOL.
    Lots of love,
    Veronica

    18 Sep 2014
  • Such a heartfelt and emotional post, thank-you for sharing it. Beautiful pages as always x

    18 Sep 2014
  • I’m absolutely in love with the raw emotions in these pages. Your technique is so true to you… flawless!
    xx Becky

    18 Sep 2014
  • Wow girl, powerful stuff… Sometimes it’s magic how the hard stuff can translate into something beautiful on paper. You made magic :)

    xx

    18 Sep 2014
  • One: Mad props for getting up that early && being able to be creative! I’m most creative in the middle of the night. Two: This was spot on. As someone who has lost so many people [including my mother], I can say this post spoke to me <333

    18 Sep 2014
  • I think this is such a healthy way to remember & grieve. Thanks for opening it up to us. Lovely lovely.

    18 Sep 2014
  • Beautiful pages and sentiments. Sorry for what you, and your mother, are going through.

    18 Sep 2014
  • Robynn

    “But it‚Äôs a privilege loving someone so much that when they leave it hurts.”
    Very, very wise words. I’ve never yet lost anyone in a painful way; no one that close to me. I’m deeply ambivalent about this.

    18 Sep 2014
  • Raw…is such a good description. It made me think of some of my own losses. I especially loved this : “When people die, they don‚Äôt leave. Instead of being outside and inside you, now they‚Äôre just inside.”

    I’m going to remember that:)
    xx

    18 Sep 2014
  • That page about your mum is so powerful. It started off as a joyful sentence then I felt a lump in my throat. Does it end with the word I’m? Feels very raw. Hope you’re doing ok.
    Also… freaking love your layouts!

    18 Sep 2014
  • I think these are some of my favourite of your art journal pages. I think it’s because the journaling is so important to the work. Glad to hear your mom got a good report.

    18 Sep 2014
  • Caylee, you took my breath away. This is raw, but it is also beautifully deep and true. I am grateful right now for the people around me, for health and for time well spent and it is thanks to you and these pages. Very moving and touching. Hugs to you and a big sigh of (temporary or not) relief for your mom.

    18 Sep 2014
  • Right in the guts, ladyfriend.

    Every week of my life, there is a moment when I look at the love of my life, or my beloved heart-cat, and know that some day they won’t be with me. I don’t mean to be morbid. Death is a terrific mystery, and I’m lucky enough to have had some moments in my life that make it less terrifying to me…but it’s never any less sad. It seems to be wrapped up in love, or love is wrapped up in it. So amazing that we’re even here, that we can speak out, and create things, and love one another so much.

    19 Sep 2014
  • Jodie | Polka Dot Creative

    Oh Caylee. I have no words. Beautiful. Wish a could give you a hug. xxx

    19 Sep 2014
  • Caylee thanks you for sharing your emotions with us. You are brave and I admire that.

    19 Sep 2014
  • Very moving work this week. I absolutely love that you’re putting it all out there. Going deep is not easy for me and I’m super inspired by your pages. I’m going to try to start digging now that I’m getting in such a journaling groove. Thanks for the push and the art!

    19 Sep 2014
  • What a beautiful post, Caylee. I loved reading it… Thanks for sharing this part of you.
    I share this about having people inside of you. Also when they are alive but left a big mark in you.
    By the way, these maybe are my favorite journal pages of you.
    Big hugs and big yay for your mom!

    19 Sep 2014
  • Awe. I love these pages. So raw and filled feeling. It just amazes me how much our art journaling pulls out our feeling. =]

    19 Sep 2014
  • *biggest hugs, tissues & puppy/bunny cuddles your way*
    so raw, so emotional, so very true.

    19 Sep 2014
  • You’re a gorgeous creature, and this is going in my quote journal: “You write words on a page and they echo louder than their black ink allows.”

    19 Sep 2014
  • Thanks for sharing your heart through these beautiful pages, Caylee. xx

    20 Sep 2014
  • Such an emotional and beautiful post! Giving you a mental hug!! xo

    20 Sep 2014
  • So beautiful and raw. Very well put. These ladies are lucky to have you loving them.

    24 Sep 2014

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