One of my least favourite parts about depression is the way it hits you right in the heart. It turns you from a stable human to a broken mess. You aren’t you, and it hurts to put the pieces back together. This time it shot me in the self-confidence part. If I compare the me now to the high school girl, I am extremely self-confident. It’s not that I think I am so great, it’s just that I really love myself. But depression comes and takes away all of that. This time it took me a while to pinpoint what exactly the feeling was, but when I did, oh it hurt so much more than the other things depression takes away.
But I’ve mentioned before that I’m not allowing it to take me over completely this time. I’m fighting it, etc. Mary’s post about her Self Love Bible came at exactly the right time. The perfect tool to help me move away from self-loathing, and right back into self loving. To relearn what it was that made me fall in love with myself. And so I signed up for Gala Darling’s course and have been deliberate about it. And loving it. It’s amazing how art in any form you wish can create such contentedness within yourself.
I love this project. It’s so special to me. Here are some of the less personal pages.
The happy page turned into this blog post.
This page started off using my favourite photo that Mary has ever taken, and ended up being a mini shrine to her.
The world’s best title, by the sweetest, most colourful person I know. I left the page blank, because that title just said so much that I didn’t want it distracted with other things.
My favourite lyrics from The Used.
Do you have any tools to be deliberate about loving yourself ? Do you have a self love bible ?